Like many bloggers out there, I am really into beauty blogs and vlogs. I cannot get enough of how well people put themselves together. I've always struggled with how to be fashionable, confident looking, and everyday glamorous. None of those things are actually necessary in my life to be successful but boy do they make life more interesting (and instagram worthy...). Recently, I've been stalking my favorite fashion bloggers while looking for trendy interview wear and overall more 'adult' clothing. I've really come into myself this past year and I don't want to keep being that girl in sweats. I love wearing "real" clothes, getting dressed up, and all that comes with it.
While scrolling threw Emma Wo's blog Aloha Babe (she might be my favorite Miss USA contestant this year) I realized that despite my admiration for her, I can't use most of the products or afford most of the clothes she can. She's a normal (yet more fabulous) American. What troubled me was how that made me feel. While reading her blog I was inspired fashionably but felt insecure about my own financial shortcomings. It made me insecure about how I was ever going to live a vegan and ethical fashionable life when all of these amazing clothes are mostly not ethically made.
**I love Emma and all of the work that she does, this is not an inditement against Emma but rather a reflection on how easily I can let my self-esteem go because of my own frustration and desires.**
Then there's the make-up. Make-up is a huge frustration of mine because I don't have the money to keep trying and ordering vegan makeup off the internet with the hopes that it will work for me. Of course, I could return it but then I would feel wasteful all the same because someone else couldn't buy it and use it. My constant battle in finding vegan makeup that works for me has lead to some accidental on purpose non-vegan purchases - all products were cruelty free - but has lead to some major guilt when putting on my favorite looks.
Ultimately, what makes me feel the most uncomfortable with the social media side of beauty is the power of consumption. It all feels excessive because I don't need a million lip colors, I don't need to keep on trying things when I have things that work. I don't want to feel persuaded to try products that don't fit with my ethical standards. Yet when I scroll through instagram I feel this way. I want that blush. I want that nail polish. I WANT those clothes. What had started off as a scroll to find inspiration ended up with a scroll through self-consciousness. I became aware off all that I supposedly LACKED from my wardrobe and make-up table. While I lost awareness of those who have far less.
I am incredibly blessed to have food to eat, a job, a degree, prospects for the future, good friends, a loving boyfriend, and some of the most amazing family members a girl could ask for. I have found and created opportunities I didn't know existed. I am able to create change not just for myself, anymore, but for my entire community. So why do I feel like I LACK anything? That nagging drive to consume driven by my own social media use is unhealthy; not just for myself but for the entire world because it creates waste and socio-economic divides. With this realization, I'm going to choose to be a different kind of blogger.
I will continue to talk about beauty, fitness, fashion, pageantry, and the environment but I will create a message and a path that is accessible to ALL. To create change is not to be exclusionary. My goal is to help spread self-confidence without the drive to consume. While I can't get rid of consumption (we've all got needs and not enough products to DIY everything) I hope to find affordable and ethical products that we can all use. I hope to find products in stores we can test out. I hope I can prove to myself and others that it's possible to live this kind of life without thousands of dollars and free access to everything.
While scrolling threw Emma Wo's blog Aloha Babe (she might be my favorite Miss USA contestant this year) I realized that despite my admiration for her, I can't use most of the products or afford most of the clothes she can. She's a normal (yet more fabulous) American. What troubled me was how that made me feel. While reading her blog I was inspired fashionably but felt insecure about my own financial shortcomings. It made me insecure about how I was ever going to live a vegan and ethical fashionable life when all of these amazing clothes are mostly not ethically made.
**I love Emma and all of the work that she does, this is not an inditement against Emma but rather a reflection on how easily I can let my self-esteem go because of my own frustration and desires.**
Then there's the make-up. Make-up is a huge frustration of mine because I don't have the money to keep trying and ordering vegan makeup off the internet with the hopes that it will work for me. Of course, I could return it but then I would feel wasteful all the same because someone else couldn't buy it and use it. My constant battle in finding vegan makeup that works for me has lead to some accidental on purpose non-vegan purchases - all products were cruelty free - but has lead to some major guilt when putting on my favorite looks.
Ultimately, what makes me feel the most uncomfortable with the social media side of beauty is the power of consumption. It all feels excessive because I don't need a million lip colors, I don't need to keep on trying things when I have things that work. I don't want to feel persuaded to try products that don't fit with my ethical standards. Yet when I scroll through instagram I feel this way. I want that blush. I want that nail polish. I WANT those clothes. What had started off as a scroll to find inspiration ended up with a scroll through self-consciousness. I became aware off all that I supposedly LACKED from my wardrobe and make-up table. While I lost awareness of those who have far less.
I am incredibly blessed to have food to eat, a job, a degree, prospects for the future, good friends, a loving boyfriend, and some of the most amazing family members a girl could ask for. I have found and created opportunities I didn't know existed. I am able to create change not just for myself, anymore, but for my entire community. So why do I feel like I LACK anything? That nagging drive to consume driven by my own social media use is unhealthy; not just for myself but for the entire world because it creates waste and socio-economic divides. With this realization, I'm going to choose to be a different kind of blogger.
I will continue to talk about beauty, fitness, fashion, pageantry, and the environment but I will create a message and a path that is accessible to ALL. To create change is not to be exclusionary. My goal is to help spread self-confidence without the drive to consume. While I can't get rid of consumption (we've all got needs and not enough products to DIY everything) I hope to find affordable and ethical products that we can all use. I hope to find products in stores we can test out. I hope I can prove to myself and others that it's possible to live this kind of life without thousands of dollars and free access to everything.