Part of being an open and honest role model is to admit our faults and our quirks. I know that in pageants we should only show our "happy" side. The side that makes everyone want to be just like us but I'm from the angst-y generation that inspired "emo". We tend to not like anyone is who is "too happy".
I've been ignoring it but in reality, I'm depressed. I'm trying really hard to be excited for the things that are coming up because I am excited but I can't really feel it. My personality type is that of the perpetually busy and when I'm not I don't know what to do with myself. Of course; I have this blog, I have to fix up my room and the apartment, I need to raise more money, I HAVE to work out, I have to meal plan and prep, I should read a German book, I should still continue to study Vietnamese. Of all of these things I have no driving interest. It's all because of my depression.
So, today, I've broken down and went to the "coffee purist" haven of Hermiker Coffee in U-District. I broke down and had coffee for the first time in a couple weeks. It is the best freaking macchiato I've had. I don't mean the Starbucks "Macchiato" where they make it a tall and smother it in carmel (I hate carmel). It's a grumpy looking Seattle day which means I'm wearing my favorite plaid. Later I'm going to eat a vegan cookie and order a tea.
When you're depressed you have to do things to make yourself feel better. I know I shouldn't rely on food or drink to make me feel better but after an argument with my boyfriend. Turns out we're both on the same wave length and depressed. We've had to hash it out and we're both feeling better. My boyfriend makes me admit things I try to hold inside and I do the same for him. I am eternally grateful for him in my life. Even if we both piss each other off sometimes.
I've been ignoring it but in reality, I'm depressed. I'm trying really hard to be excited for the things that are coming up because I am excited but I can't really feel it. My personality type is that of the perpetually busy and when I'm not I don't know what to do with myself. Of course; I have this blog, I have to fix up my room and the apartment, I need to raise more money, I HAVE to work out, I have to meal plan and prep, I should read a German book, I should still continue to study Vietnamese. Of all of these things I have no driving interest. It's all because of my depression.
So, today, I've broken down and went to the "coffee purist" haven of Hermiker Coffee in U-District. I broke down and had coffee for the first time in a couple weeks. It is the best freaking macchiato I've had. I don't mean the Starbucks "Macchiato" where they make it a tall and smother it in carmel (I hate carmel). It's a grumpy looking Seattle day which means I'm wearing my favorite plaid. Later I'm going to eat a vegan cookie and order a tea.
When you're depressed you have to do things to make yourself feel better. I know I shouldn't rely on food or drink to make me feel better but after an argument with my boyfriend. Turns out we're both on the same wave length and depressed. We've had to hash it out and we're both feeling better. My boyfriend makes me admit things I try to hold inside and I do the same for him. I am eternally grateful for him in my life. Even if we both piss each other off sometimes.