Last year was a whirlwind of change and opportunity. I thought 2013 was crazy.
This year I was in a long distance relationship with the most amazing man I've ever known. I have struggled and fought for a relationship more than I ever thought I would. I used to be a huge supporter of "nothing serious till 30" argument. I also don't believe in giving up a good thing. He's the most supportive person in my life and I wouldn't have accomplished so much without him.
This year I chose my major. I hated my new department. I changed my major again. Since I've had a crazy schooling experience (boy will I post more on this at a later date) my graduation date has been postponed, once again. I don't regret studying abroad and I don't regret changing my major. I don't take out student loans and postpone other dreams to be unhappy with what I'll spend years focusing on. I'm disappointed that the German dept is so old fashioned and not very understanding, as a program, of how I learned German; that makes my majoring in it a miserable choice mentally and for my GPA.
This year I have chosen my health and happiness over others. I had someone whom I considered family, touch me inappropriately. I know my family will throw so much hate for posting this on the internet but I firmly believe that we must be honest because hiding such things says it's okay. I want those who have gone through similar things to know it's okay to speak out even if your family sweeps it under the rug, ignores your feelings, belittles your experiences; it's okay to speak. It's okay to know in your heart and mind that it was wrong what happened even if the police tell you nothing will happen if you file. It's okay to focus on yourself when everyone else was worried about keeping the family together. This year, I lost most of my family and that's okay. Through therapy and reflection I understand that I have to do what's best for me and my mental state.
My happiness and health meant moving out to Seattle, something I wanted to for years. This forced me to get the single best job I have ever gotten. I work with amazing people and in such a positive environment. Focusing on me I delved into what I found truly important. I started exercising more and became vegan.
Focusing on me, I spontaneously decided to go to Germany and visit my friends I hadn't seen in 4 years. No matter the toll on my bank account, I needed this trip. My friendships needed this trip. It revived my passion for the German language (as much as schooling has cooled it down) and culture.
Focusing on me, I made a 25 before 25 list. I crossed off so many things. This included crossing off competing in a pageant. A childhood dream that was told to me to be impossible because of money, my body, my attitude. I had one of the single most wonderful and empowering moments of my life at Miss Washington USA. It gave me such a high that I want compete again.
Today is the first day of 2015 and although I'm not where I thought I'd be, I'm more passionate about life than I ever was before. I will be the change I want to see. I want to inspire and help. My generation is unhappy, our eyes are open and I'm excited to see what we can do!
This year I was in a long distance relationship with the most amazing man I've ever known. I have struggled and fought for a relationship more than I ever thought I would. I used to be a huge supporter of "nothing serious till 30" argument. I also don't believe in giving up a good thing. He's the most supportive person in my life and I wouldn't have accomplished so much without him.
This year I chose my major. I hated my new department. I changed my major again. Since I've had a crazy schooling experience (boy will I post more on this at a later date) my graduation date has been postponed, once again. I don't regret studying abroad and I don't regret changing my major. I don't take out student loans and postpone other dreams to be unhappy with what I'll spend years focusing on. I'm disappointed that the German dept is so old fashioned and not very understanding, as a program, of how I learned German; that makes my majoring in it a miserable choice mentally and for my GPA.
This year I have chosen my health and happiness over others. I had someone whom I considered family, touch me inappropriately. I know my family will throw so much hate for posting this on the internet but I firmly believe that we must be honest because hiding such things says it's okay. I want those who have gone through similar things to know it's okay to speak out even if your family sweeps it under the rug, ignores your feelings, belittles your experiences; it's okay to speak. It's okay to know in your heart and mind that it was wrong what happened even if the police tell you nothing will happen if you file. It's okay to focus on yourself when everyone else was worried about keeping the family together. This year, I lost most of my family and that's okay. Through therapy and reflection I understand that I have to do what's best for me and my mental state.
My happiness and health meant moving out to Seattle, something I wanted to for years. This forced me to get the single best job I have ever gotten. I work with amazing people and in such a positive environment. Focusing on me I delved into what I found truly important. I started exercising more and became vegan.
Focusing on me, I spontaneously decided to go to Germany and visit my friends I hadn't seen in 4 years. No matter the toll on my bank account, I needed this trip. My friendships needed this trip. It revived my passion for the German language (as much as schooling has cooled it down) and culture.
Focusing on me, I made a 25 before 25 list. I crossed off so many things. This included crossing off competing in a pageant. A childhood dream that was told to me to be impossible because of money, my body, my attitude. I had one of the single most wonderful and empowering moments of my life at Miss Washington USA. It gave me such a high that I want compete again.
Today is the first day of 2015 and although I'm not where I thought I'd be, I'm more passionate about life than I ever was before. I will be the change I want to see. I want to inspire and help. My generation is unhappy, our eyes are open and I'm excited to see what we can do!