If you're over the age of 8 you've probably experienced some body issue. I'm talking everything from weight, shape, color, design, etc. It's been a long time coming but I kind of love me. Every time I make the decision to change something about myself from getting a tan, doing my hair, practicing make up it brings me up and then brings me down lower than before. It is a constant battle between what I believe I should look like based off every influence I come in contact with and what I was born with.
I have fantastically pale skin that I only seem to miss when I've had a tan longer than 3 days. My hair is fantastic fluffy main of curls that I try and tame on the daily basis. Only to have it fight to spring back to life after an hour and in the most wonderful form of frizz. I love how much make-up can change you but as a friend once said "it's kind of like putting on a mask". Calling me barbie is a compliment in it's highest form because you just called me the unattainable standard of womanly beauty but on the same hand barbie is exhausting.
There is constant flux between I'm beautiful right now, the way I was born, and the fun and exhilaration and compliments you get when you do the whole tan, tame, and mask shebang. Whenever I get a spray tan I can't help but think that I'm dyeing my skin and it's the exact opposite for so many people in other lands and cultures who try to be paler from western imperialism and/or long standing tradition. I wonder, every time I try to change how I look, what these changes say about my person. Why can't I accept my pale skin or fluffy hair? I feel guilty because I tell people I'm confident yet I fundamentally change how my genetics designed me.
I've learned that the flux is okay and it reflects current trends but it's important to love the things that hurt us in the past. My jiggly thighs that I feared people would notice in high school are now fun and womanly. My poofy hair is my lions mane. My pale skin is as illuminating and mystical as the moonlight. It's these silly compliments I give myself that are so important in the quest in self love. They're also incredibly important because I am into pageants that focus on the aesthetic side of things and have long standing traditions of what "beauty" is.
I encourage all woman to just find one thing they hated in the past or caused them grief and find something positive. I have some mad forehead wrinkles for just being 22 and I call them my "5 degrees of surprise and anger" and remind myself that without deep facial lines Jim Carey wouldn't be half so entertaining. Of course I'm self conscious and that's okay but find confidence is what helps me develop into the woman I want to be. It's up to us to decide how we want to look and if you want to change every single thing about yourself, that's okay. I just ask that you find one positive because you were a beautiful baby and you're still beautiful today. Your beauty may not be reflected in the media but it's there and it's up to us embrace and share ourselves.
I have fantastically pale skin that I only seem to miss when I've had a tan longer than 3 days. My hair is fantastic fluffy main of curls that I try and tame on the daily basis. Only to have it fight to spring back to life after an hour and in the most wonderful form of frizz. I love how much make-up can change you but as a friend once said "it's kind of like putting on a mask". Calling me barbie is a compliment in it's highest form because you just called me the unattainable standard of womanly beauty but on the same hand barbie is exhausting.
There is constant flux between I'm beautiful right now, the way I was born, and the fun and exhilaration and compliments you get when you do the whole tan, tame, and mask shebang. Whenever I get a spray tan I can't help but think that I'm dyeing my skin and it's the exact opposite for so many people in other lands and cultures who try to be paler from western imperialism and/or long standing tradition. I wonder, every time I try to change how I look, what these changes say about my person. Why can't I accept my pale skin or fluffy hair? I feel guilty because I tell people I'm confident yet I fundamentally change how my genetics designed me.
I've learned that the flux is okay and it reflects current trends but it's important to love the things that hurt us in the past. My jiggly thighs that I feared people would notice in high school are now fun and womanly. My poofy hair is my lions mane. My pale skin is as illuminating and mystical as the moonlight. It's these silly compliments I give myself that are so important in the quest in self love. They're also incredibly important because I am into pageants that focus on the aesthetic side of things and have long standing traditions of what "beauty" is.
I encourage all woman to just find one thing they hated in the past or caused them grief and find something positive. I have some mad forehead wrinkles for just being 22 and I call them my "5 degrees of surprise and anger" and remind myself that without deep facial lines Jim Carey wouldn't be half so entertaining. Of course I'm self conscious and that's okay but find confidence is what helps me develop into the woman I want to be. It's up to us to decide how we want to look and if you want to change every single thing about yourself, that's okay. I just ask that you find one positive because you were a beautiful baby and you're still beautiful today. Your beauty may not be reflected in the media but it's there and it's up to us embrace and share ourselves.